Journey to Renewed Life (& How I Beat Depression)!
NOTES ON HEALING!
In the dawn of 2020, as the world ushered in a new decade, I found myself seeking sanctuary on the rugged coastlines of the Isle of Man. My spirit was worn, having traversed the ravages of years-long depression. I arrived in this new land, cradled in the Irish Sea, with an earnest desire to heal, and hope as my compass.
Like the island’s resilient foliage, that thrives in the face of relentless Atlantic winds, my journey was not without struggle. But, as the years ebbed and flowed, the tides brought transformation - mostly beautiful, yet at times brutal.
My past was deeply entwined with the discipline of martial arts, a reality that bore heavily upon me, manifesting in a schizophrenic clash of worlds. I juggled the familiar - teaching martial arts, and the responsibilities of everyday life, with the gnawing understanding that to truly flourish, I needed to reshape my existence.
It was akin to a roller coaster ride over the past decade, a tempestuous dance between the comfort of normality and the yearning to shatter those shackles. Desperate to taste the sweetness of liberation, to breathe the air of an enriched life, I was caught in a bipolar sway.
Fatefully, my migration to the Isle of Man and the subsequent global lockdown due to the pandemic offered an unforeseen gift - time. I had the liberty to delve into latent passions, ones that had been simmering on the back burner of my consciousness. The shift from the persistent vigilance of life in South Africa to the tranquillity of the Isle of Man was profound. Only in hindsight did I comprehend the debilitating impact of the anxiety-induced state I was in and its contribution to my depression.
Now, I lie awake on those quieter nights, worrying about my sons back in Johannesburg. But buoyed by the support of my partner, we are tirelessly striving to bring about a positive change for them. Things are looking hopeful.
The renaissance of my healing journey required a keen focus on my well-being. I anticipated that this shift would inevitably cast ripples through my martial arts community. It was a hard truth to swallow, that those accustomed to the 'old, combative Rodney' would find it hard to accept the new me. In embracing my evolution, I had to let go of long-standing associations. But the loss, however painful, was necessary for growth.
In a mere span of four years, I went from merely dabbling with my health to orchestrating a remarkable transformation. The path led me to domains that once would have seemed inconceivable. Perhaps, to the onlookers, it was a surprise, but not to me. For, in truth, I was never a fighter. Born into the harsh realities of Johannesburg's South Side, I was compelled to master 'self-defence'. This necessity consumed my adult life, compelling me to teach others how to protect themselves.
Martial arts will forever remain a part of my identity. Today, however, my focus has shifted towards nurturing self-preservation skills and fostering their embodiment in everyday life. This approach aligns with my personal struggles with health issues, but more significantly, it resolves the contradiction that I've grappled with - the desire for a peaceful existence in contrast with a life of teaching violence. Self-preservation, in its essence, is a serene skill, devoid of bravado, ego-less, and holds no claim to being a spectacle of entertainment.
Now, my days are filled with exploration and discovery. I immerse myself in reading, writing, and uncovering the links between nature's intelligence, ancestral knowledge, and primal skills mastery. The abundant, safe natural spaces of the Isle of Man are my playground and sanctuary, far removed from the threats that marred my past life in South Africa.
I have bid farewell to my days of 'merely teaching others how to fight'. My path has veered towards a greater purpose – one that strives to instigate lasting change, to touch lives, to connect with nature and our ancestral roots. Though my offerings may not resonate with all, nor replicate the success of my earlier days as a 'fight coach', I've discovered an unprecedented joy, wellness, and more importantly, conquered the shadows of depression.
If these words stir an echo within you, I shall continue to share my journey. Until then, much love.
PRINCIPLES OF TRANSFORMATION: A GUIDE TO GROWTH & HEALING
Embrace Change: Sticking to familiar paths may feel safe, but it could inhibit personal growth and healing. Accepting the need for change can be pivotal in personal transformation.
Cherish Time: Time is a gift that allows us to explore our interests deeply and dedicate ourselves to self-improvement. Use it wisely.
Importance of Environment: Your surroundings greatly affect your mental health. Finding a safe, peaceful environment can significantly aid in the healing process.
Painful Loss for Greater Gain: Sometimes, in the process of transformation, it may be necessary to let go of long-standing relationships or ways of life. Though difficult, this loss can pave the way for significant personal growth.
Shift in Focus: Transitioning from outward physical defense to inward personal preservation can help resolve internal conflicts and promote inner peace.
Exploration of Interests: Delving into nature, ancestral knowledge, and primal skills mastery can provide a fulfilling and enriching experience, contributing positively to mental health.
Purpose Over Popularity: Not everyone will resonate with your path or choices. But finding a purpose that gives you peace and joy is more rewarding than achieving widespread acclaim.
Overcoming Challenges: Despite severe struggles, such as health issues and depression, it's possible to build a fulfilling and joyful life. The key lies in resilience, self-care, and perseverance.